Pink Party Dress
by quaint-little-categories
Summary: Life isn't as simple as it once was. The desire to return to childhood overtakes with the realisation of what they have become. The secret tragedy of their lives to date and when Marissa 'escapes' will Ryan be able to save her? CHAPTER 9 UP NOW!
1. I'll never catch all the memories

**-Pink Party Dress-**

**_I remember a little girl running around in her pink party dress. It was her 4th birthday and her dad always treated her like a princess. I wish I were that little girl again running around in her pink party dress. _**

I'll never catch all the memories I'm chasing

The clock on my bedside table brightly shows that it is now 2: 00 am, as I lay here unable to sleep my thoughts go to a little girl on her 4th birthday.

_I remember a little girl running around in her pink party dress. It was her 4th birthday and her dad always treated her like a princess. This particular birthday he had bought her the pink party dress she had been asking for, for months. He had bought her a matching crown. That morning she awoke to her dad's smiling face. _

"_Good morning daddy"_

"_Good morning princess"_

"_It's my birthday today and I am this may years" she says holding four fingers up to her dad._

"_I know it's your birthday- and I think that there might be something waiting down stairs for you"_

_She hugs her dad and runs down the stairs. As she see what is waiting for her she jumps into her dad's arms_

"_Oh, thank you daddy" she hugged him tighter than she head every hugged anyone before. She whispers into his ear_

"_Daddy?"_

"_Yes kiddo" _

"_I love you daddy" _

_As he puts her down she jumps on the pink bike he had bought her, streamers and all, riding around the living room was the most fun she had ever had. Her mom walks in_

"_Good morning sweetie"_

"_Good morning mommy"_

_She jumps off her bike and flies into her moms arms_

"_Thank you mommy"_

_As she puts her daughter down she pulls out from her dressing gown a small box_

"_What's that mommy?"_

"_This is your birthday present from me- I got it in Paris"_

"_Mommy, it's beautiful"_

_Inside of that box was a necklace, embedded with pearls and diamonds_

"_Mommy, I feel like a princess"_

"_I love you mommy"_

_Her mom not knowing what to say just smiled. _

Mom never was any good with showing love I thought as more memories of that day come back.

**Hello, so this is my new story, hopefully you will like it. It is not really like the other stories I have written but please read and let me know what you think. The next few chapters will be full on but it will have a happy ending. As always anonymous reviews are welcome so you have no excuse not to review. Lovies Shar-Lyn xxx **


	2. You Swear You Recall Nothing At All

**A/N Hey everyone, just a for-warning this story isn't exactly along the lines of the actual OC. All the characters are still the same so Marissa, Seth, Summer and Ryan, except that Ryan was adopted as soon as he was born from his mother in the actual show (his last name is Cohen), as normal so the four grew up together everything that happened in the show has already happened except as I said the fact that Ryan was already there and Marissa did have a fling with Volchok but instead of Marissa getting back together with him after she visited Berkeley she got back together with Ryan. So, she didn't leave with Jimmy at the end of season 3. And Volchok was killed in a drink driving accident BEFORE he found Marissa that night. But all of these things will be explained through memories. This story WILL be sad at times and a little angst. So yeah I think that covers everything for now if you have any question don't hesitate to ask and all constructive criticism is welcome. **

**THIS CHAPTER IS RATED MA 18+, IT IS VERY GRAPHIC AND NOT FOR A YOUNG AUDIENCE.**

You swear you recall nothing at all

As I wake from my night terrors and I look around my dorm room. I am still sweating and breathing heavily, as I turn to get my phone off the bedside table I notice that it is now 3:30 am, which means I got at least and hour and a half sleep, which is the most I've had all week. I flip open my phone and find the number I want.

"Hello?"

"Hey Marissa"

"Hey Summer"

"I'm sorry did I wake you?"

"No- no I was awake, I couldn't sleep"

"Me neither"

"Night terrors?"

"You too"

There is a long silence

"Marissa, I am so scared"

"I know me too---- was it the same dream?"

"Yeah, you too?"

"Yeah"

"I wish I could go back to my 4th birthday"

"Me too"

"Um I think I am going to hope in the shower, I'm all sweaty I just---"

"Needed to talk to someone, I know me too, when you called me I was about to call you."

"Bye Coop, love you"

"Bye Sum, love you too"

I hang up the phone, grab my towel and jump in the shower. After letting the cool water run over my body I jump out the shower, getting dressed I turn the TV on it's a news update, I sit in front of the TV the news reporter begins to speak,

_Breaking news now, one of the 14 year old girls taken at Venice Beach in Southern California has been found dead after 7 days missing, her family is pleading for any information to be brought forward. The girls' friend who was taken too is still missing. . . . . . _

My thoughts go to **that** night-- - - - - - - - - -

_Marissa and I are wandering along the beach outside Holly's beach house. We're supposed to be at the party but the last place that either of us fell like being is there with everybody. _

"_Sorry to drag you away from the party-"_

"_No, it's okay Sum I really don't feel like being there either after that rumour she started; I really don't care about her 14th birthday"_

"_Yeah, me neither"_

_We might not want to be at the party but that doesn't mean we don't want the alcohol, before leave Marissa and I grabbed a bottle of Vodka each and a bag of pot that Luke had pre-rolled for us. We continue to walk along the beach getting farther and farther away from everyone. We continue to walk and these two guys come up behind us._

"_So what are two young ladies doing walking along the beach this late, you know you could get hurt"_

"_Why do you care?"_

"_We don't, we want to be the ones to hurt you"_

_As he says that they grab us from behind and drag us behind one of the really large rocks on the beach so that if anyone is around they won't see us. I look over to Marissa's face, that look will never leave me. After screaming and kick we both ran out of energy. The next thing I know the guy on top of Marissa knocks her head and she becomes unconscious. The guy on top of me talks while pulling out a gun-_

"_My friend here likes it better when they don't fight back, I on the other hand like them to remember how good I was" _

_I look over to see the guy push up Marissa's skirt and take off her underwear. _

"_No don't do that--- LEAVE HER ALONE!"_

_It's like I am watching a movie and I wish that Ryan and Seth were here. I watch as he undoes his pants to show himself; he spreads her legs and pushes himself inside her, I can't watch anyone. The guy on top of me speaks again._

"_You know why else we do it like this, because my girl is more concerned with her unconscious friend than herself, and fighting back." _

_I look down and see that he has got my underwear off and he is now pushing himself inside me too._

_I try to get him out of me but he's too strong._

"_See I told you I was good"_

I have tried so hard to forget; I did until the story of those girls in Venice Beach. I feel myself shaking I have tried so hard to forget but I can't anymore.

_You swear you recall nothing at all  
That could make you come back down  
You made up your mind to leave it all behind  
Now you're forced to fight it out_

You fall away from your past  
But it's following you  
You fall away from your past  
But it's following you

You left something undone, it's now your rerun   
It's the one you can't erase  
You should have made it right, so you wouldn't have to fight  
To put a smile back on your face 

You fall away from your past  
But it's following you  
You fall away from your past  
But it's following you  
You fall away   
You fall away  
  
_Something I've done that I can't outrun  
Something I've done that I can't outrun  
Maybe you should wait maybe you should run  
But there's something you've said that can't be undone_

And you fall away from your past  
But It's following you  
You fall away from your past  
But It's following you  
You fall away from your past  
But It's following you  
You fall away from your past  
But It's following you

You fall away  
It's following you

You fall 

**-I WARNED YOU-**

**The lyrics at the end of this post are Fall Away by The Fray. So it's a little more angst than I let on and I know that this chapter was VERY full on but please read the rest of the story no other chapters are like this. R&R Shar-Lyn **


	3. I Tried To Kill The Pain

**I just wanted to clear a few more things up with you about the story line previous to this story. Okay, Dawn has no part in Ryan's life; he has never met her and never plans to. Ryan does have contact with Trey though and everything to do with him does happen except the car-stealing incident at the beginning of the 1st season, and Ryan does burn down the model home (you will find out more about that though, it doesn't happen the same as the show) Theresa doesn't exist. Ps the next few chapters are fairly light. Not too much darkness occurs. **

I Tried To Kill The Pain

The week just passed has been one of the most difficult in a long time. Not just because I had my last, finals ever but that second girls who was taken in Venice Beach hasn't been found.

I have been thinking about how those girls could have been Marissa and I. Marissa and I almost were those little girls not so many years ago. If Ryan and Seth hadn't come when they did and found us after the guys had left, they may have come back and taken us. Nobody outside the fantastic four knows what happened that night.

I take one final look around my dorm room and close the door to another chapter of my life.

As I carry Pancakes, my pet rabbit, out of the room and turn to walk down the hall I see a face I recognise so well.

"Hey"

"Hey Cohen"

He places a tender kiss on my lips and takes Pancakes out of my arms.

"Hello Pancakes"

I smile remembering when I first rescued Pancakes and how Cohen was scared of him-or her; I haven't really found out.

"So Pancakes are you ready for Newport?"

"I don't think anyone is ever ready for Newport."

I remark noticing how Cohen has rubbed off on me. Don't get me wrong though; I would never trade Newport for the world. He continues to ramble-

"So Summer, what do you think the latest scandal is? Who has had chin implants? Have you talked to your dad? What's the latest thing- ear implants? Or maybe ear swapping- like whole ears being replaced- what do you think? ---"

"Cohen?"

"Yes my love?"

"Shut up!"

"Of course my love"

He plants a kiss on my cheek and we continue to walk down the hall and out of the building towards the cab already loaded with all our essential things.

The short drive to the airport went really quickly with Cohens constant ramblings.

We load our things out of the trunk and through the door, security and onto the luggage conveyer belt. Or should I say **_I_** load our things out of the trunk and through the door, security and onto the luggage conveyer belt an emphasis on the **_I_** guess what **_he_** did? Yep- he carried Pancakes.

As we are seated in First Class Seth debates with me about who should get the window seat.

"But I really want the window seat- besides you had it last time we went home- please Summer Please! You can pick the Movie we watch on our screen. P-L-E-A-S-E PLEASE! PLEASE!"

"Okay but I don't want to pick the movie, cause whatever I pick you'll spend the next week complaining about to anyone who will listen."

"Thank you my love"

He takes his seat and sits there patting Pancakes. As soon as the plane takes off Seth is asleep. And what would normal be a little annoying is now cute as Pancakes falls asleep too.

I pullout my camera and take a picture. It might seem strange that I carry a camera constantly but when you're with Cohen you need proof of all the stupid and I hate to admit it- usually adorable things he does.

I smile to myself, he begged to sit on the window seat and then he fell asleep, only Seth would do that.

The flight attendant brings our lunch and I try to wake up Seth,

"Cohen? Cohen wake up your lunch is here, Thai, like you wanted"

He doesn't wake up so I sit here eating my Sushi as he sleeps. About 5 minutes before we land he starts to snore, not a quiet almost cute snore, but an annoyingly loud snore- like a freight train rattling through first class. Thank goodness the plane lands cause people were beginning to stare.

As we walk off the plane Kirsten and Sandy are waiting and thankfully Sandy helps with the luggage while Kirsten and Seth play with Pancakes. We walk out of the airport and I help Sandy load the luggage into the car.

"So when are the rest of your things arriving?"

"Um, my driver said that he expected to arrive in about 4 days."

"Seth what about you?"

"Yeah about the same time I guess"

I whisper to Kirsten

"Sorry about him, he just woke up and is a little cranky."

She just laughs.

I go off in a daze, deep in thought- I have begun to try and kill my pain by pushing it away when I am awake. While I am asleep my brain tries to process. The more I try to kill the pain the more I secretly hurt.

_I tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more  
I lay dying  
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?_

**Hey everyone, P-L-E-A-S-E review! I really need some feed back about this story, to see whether ya'll like the way this story is going. Pretty please with a cherry on top. I will love you forever, xxx Shar-Lyn. Oh I almost forgot- the lyrics at the end of this post are Evanescence- Tourniquet. **


	4. To Keep Me Company

**To keep me company**

We pull into the drive way and I go to grab the bags from the trunk-

"Summer, don't worry about it, I'll get Ryan and your dad to help later I think you'll find there are some people waiting inside to see you."

I race inside just behind Seth. As I walk through the door I see all the smiling faces I love so dearly and I feel like crying, probably because I am so tired. Dad is sitting in the big arm chair with Julie on his lap and Ryan and Marissa are lying on the ground playing with Emmalee- Marissa, Kaitlin and my little sister, she's 3 and is beyond adorable.

As I walk into the formal lounge Emi jumps up and flies into my arms.

"Sum, I missed you so much- now I don't have to miss you anymore cause you're here."

"I missed you so much too- guess who I brought with me?"

"Cohen?!"

"Yes- guess who else?"

"I don't know-"

I pull pancakes out of her carry bag-

"YAY! Pancakie, Sum, can I please play with her- I'll be gentle I promise." I hand Pancakes to her. Her eyes are mesmerising- she has dark, dark hair- like mine and dad's too; that is before he got natural highlights. And she has Marissa and Julie's cheekbones and eye colour. Her eyes are huge and they sparkle- like Marissa's used to before---.

I am brought back to reality by Marissa's warm embrace. She whispers into my ear,

"Sum, I think we need to talk about----"

I nod trying to hold back tears

"--- I am really struggling I just don't know what to do"

I pull back and look into her eyes. I see the same fear I see in the mirror. We both turn as Emi calls,

"Sum?! Coop?!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Marissa calls out-

"Emi, the adults need to talk now- just for a little bit and then Seth, Ryan, Sum and I can play the Wii with you."

"Okay, but make sure Cohen doesn't hog the control."

Everyone again bursts out laughing

"Emi's 3 and she's already funnier than you"

The laughter continues as Seth, sulking, walks over and punches Ryan- Julie states;

"Now Seth, you have to set a good example for Emi and violence is NOT a good example"

"Don't worry mommy, that wasn't violent- Chino I think you need to learn Cohen to punch before he hurts himself."

"I agree- but I don't think your mommy would like that very much."

I watch as Julie smiles at Ryan and Marissa kisses him on the cheek.

Emi skips off to play with Pancakes.

Julie followed by dad stand up and walk over to us.

"Summer, I am so glad to have you home- I have really missed you."

I smile at how much Julie has changed. Having Emi was really good for her and dad. All the parents had really missed all of us constantly not being around and needing to be parented.

I watch as dad embraces Seth, I am so glad that Seth has learnt how to act normally around him.

Julie makes her way over to Seth and dad walks towards me.

"It's so good to have you home princess, Julie and I have really missed you, and Emi has been driving us INSANE asking about you and Seth."

Everyone settles down making small talk- it has been a while since the family has been together and it is so good that everyone is permanently here for a while. Well, most of the family at least- Kaitlin is still flying between Paris, Tokyo and Hong Kong working for Hailey and Suzie. Hailey offered her an internship after she finished school. I was actually talking to her on the phone and she loves being over there travelling- especially Paris, just like her sister.

Seth announces-

"Can we order Thai? Summer didn't wake me when lunch arrived on the plane-"

"I tried to wake you-"

He rambles on about how malnourished he has become.

"Unless you want a rage blackout I suggest that you shut up."

"Yes my love"

He says slipping his fingers through mine and kissing my head.

"Yes Seth, we can order Thai, make a list of what everyone wants and then I'll order."

After making the list Emi walks in-

"Mommy- daddy I am hungry, did I hear Cohen ask about Thai?"

"Yes baby, did you want something?"

"I'm cool as long as there is mu-shu pork and dumplings"

Emi is DEFININATELY part of this family- her love of Thai is a give away.

"Of course there is."

"Thankyou"

She walks over the Kirsten-

"Excuse me Kiki- do you have the fridge stocked up with Tapioca pudding? I like pudding, p-u-d-d-i-n-g it's funny to say p-u-d-d-i-n-g"

-She says giggling.

"I do- you know who else likes Pudding?"

"COHEN!"

"Yep"

She runs over to Seth and jumps waiting for him to catch her.

**Hey everyone, um this chapter was too long so it is divide up into 2 parts. The second half is called _Spin me 'round again_. By the way; if you think I can't type when Emi speaks just remember she is only 3. I am so Zonked I just got back from Wet'n'Wild for my friends 17th birthday. Please review as always- xxx Shar-Lyn. PS. Julie and Neil's little girls name in Emmalee Raquel Roberts - or Emi for short. And she is all mine. **


	5. Spin Me 'Round Again

**Spin me 'round again**

"I have an idea- why don't we go out to the pool house and play the Wii while we wait for Thai."

Everyone agrees that that would be a good idea, giving the parents a chance to talk. So Ryan and Marissa, Seth and I led by Emi go out to the pool house.

"Can we play tennis?"

"Of course we can, do you want to have a go first?"

"Yes please but only if Coop plays with me."

"I would love to play with you!"

Marissa jumps up grabbing Emi and spins her around.

"Faster Coop faster!"

She says between giggling.

Marissa holding Emi plops down on the bed. And Marissa tickles Emi.

"Ahhhhhhh- Save Emi Ryan!"

She yells and loud as she can still giggling.

As Marissa stops Emi jumps up into Ryan's arm. He sits on the bed next to Marissa still holding her in his lap. Marissa fixes her hair and her clothes so that they sit right. Emi lies back so that Ryan is cradling her she lets out a big yawn and closes her eyes. As fast as that Emi is asleep.

It's obvious that Emi is closer to Ryan and Marissa- probably cause they weren't on the other side of the country. And came home every weekend, if Seth an I did that it would have cost a small fortune to fly back and forth. Now Cohen and I are home we have the chance to spend lots of time with her.

"If you ladies don't mind I think I need some Seth/Ryan time."

"Not at all- I need some serious Sum/Coop time."

Ryan and Seth stay in the pool house to keep and eye on Emi while they talk and Marissa and I head out to the bottom courtyard below the pool.

As we reach the bottom courtyard I feel nauseas- Marissa begins;

"Ever since those girls were taken I----"

"I know me too"

"I can't help but think that they could have been us."

"Me neither- what if the people that -----"

"Are the same people that took them?"

"I've been talking to Seth about it------------"

"Yeah and I've been talking to Ryan-------"

"I just don't know what to do."

"Me neither I just I don't know anymore."

Seth disturbs our talk yelling from the top level-

"Guys- Thai is here!"

I can see through the window Ryan has already carried Emi inside and dad is now holding her. As Marissa and I walk down the steps Ryan and Seth stand there waiting.

"Um, before we go in Ryan and I need to talk to you two."

Seth holding my hand and Ryan holding Marissa's lead us into the pool house.

Seth begins;

"When we went inside to check if the Thai was here we overheard the parents talking."

Ryan continues;

"They know something; they were discussing how out-of-it you two have been lately and how they know that we're hiding something."

Seth interrupts

"--- But they don't know what."

"Maybe we should, tell them---"

Marissa and I look at each other and nod.

"Yeah, we have been thinking about that too."

**Hey everyone, I know that that was short but I didn't really want to drag on too much, besides the next few chapters will be interesting. Please read and review- xxx Shar-Lyn Ps. How cute is Emi! oh and I have already written the next couple of chapters so at the moment I am concerntrating on my other 2 stories, _Stolen _and _If You Need Me. _So I am going to try and post once of week with this story. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. Lovies. **


	6. Storm Clouds Break

**Storm Clouds Break**

"So when do we tell them?"

"I don't know."

"For now why don't we act like nothing is wrong?"

"I don't know about Coop, but I just can't do that anymore."

"Yeah Sum's right I just can't"

Marissa rests her head in her palms and Ryan kisses her head.

"So what do you girls want to do?"

"We need to tell them---"

"But not tonight."

"Okay, why don't we tell them that we want to have lunch tomorrow to talk?"

"That's a start."

Marissa lifts her head up-

"Emi can't be there, I just, I don't want her to see us upset, that's all."

"Me neither"

"We can ask them to get a sitter?"

"Yeah- we can ask"

Julie and Kirsten walk into the pool house to see Marissa with her head buried in Ryan's shoulder and my tear stained face staring up at them.

"What's wrong?!"

Ryan Speaks-

"Um, we need to talk to all the adults tomorrow, an Emi can't be there."

"Why what's happened?"

They are really looking concerned and then Marissa looks up.

Julie rushes over to her daughter and hugs her-

"Baby what's wrong?"

"There is something we need to tell you- all of you"

-She says look over to Kirsten.

"Of course- whenever you are ready"

After a long silence Julie says-

"Well the food is getting cold, boys can you help set the table and girls why don't you freshen up, Emi is awake and waiting inside for you."

We all nod and stand up and Julie and Kirsten head inside. Ryan embraces Marissa as she buries her head in his shoulder. Seth wraps his arms around me and whispers,

"I love you"

"I love you too Seth."

I only ever call him Seth when I am in a serious mood and he recognises that. He places a sweet kiss on my head and follows Ryan out the door and down the stairs as Marissa and I stand there watching.

Marissa walks over and embraces me asking-

"Are we doing the right thing?"

"I don't know."

Marissa and I walk into the bathroom, wash our faces and after re-applying lipgloss and mascara we rejoin the group.

Dinner is really quite but at the same time not awkward. I guess the thing with families is that you don't always have to speak.

After watching some arm wrestling classics featuring Sylvester Stallone dad and Julie leave with Emi- I guess 7 at night is late for a 3 yr old.

We hug them goodbye

"Mom I think I am going to spend the night here with Ryan."

"Sure baby- what about you Summer?"

"Would that be okay?"

"Well, it's fine with Sandy and I if it's okay with Julie and Neil."

"Of course it is princess."

I walk over and hug Julie and dad goodbye and kiss Emi's head

"So everyone is meeting here for lunch tomorrow."

"Yep"

"Bye girls see you then- Bye Sandy, Kirsten thank you for dinner and the movie, next time we'll do it at our house."

"Our pleasure"

They walk out the door.

"So kids what are you going to do?"

"Well, I know it's early but I would really like to sleep."

"Yeah me too."

"What are you boys going to do?"

"Well, I need to talk to Marissa, so I guess I'm going to bed."

"Yeah and I need to talk to Summer so me too."

"Oh okay, honey it looks like we've got the house to ourselves- I'm think a hot tub and then bathrobes with nothing underneath"

"Oh gross guys- not an image I want to picture"

Sandy and Kirsten walk into there room laughing.

"Where are you guys going to sleep?"

"Um, I guess Ryan and I will take the pool house---"

"And Seth and I will take his room?"

"Sounds good- see you in the morning"

Marissa and Ryan head to the pool house leaving Seth and I standing in the hall.

"So you ready for tomorrow?"

"I could never be ready for what's going to happen"

"Me neither"

I guess I am just waiting for the storm clouds to break.

**Read and Review xxx Shar-Lyn **


	7. Winter

**A/N This from both Summer and Marissa's point of view**

Sure as winter goes and comes around again

As Marissa and Ryan walk the other direction I just stand there and Seth heads up the stairs, I still stand there. I watch as Ryan wraps his arm around Marissa. She looks back at me and I turn fast so she doesn't see the tear slowly making it's way down my cheek. I turn to look up at Seth standing half way up the stairs. As I walk up to him he wraps his arms around me and I whisper-

"I just don't know if I can do this"

"You mean telling the parents?"

"No I mean life."

I say bluntly

"Well, if it makes you feel any better- I love you"

"I love you too."

As I walk away from Summer Ryan wraps his arm around me protectively like just his arm can rescue me from the world, I wish it could. I look back at Summer standing there and she turns her head thinking I haven't seen the tear rolling down her cheek but I did and I know how she feels. 

We reach the pool house I sit on the bed ignoring Ryan completely- I didn't mean to I just forgot that he was there. 

I broke from my daze to Ryan kneeling in-front of me. I look from his face and around the room to my shaking hands. 

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"About 2 hours."

I didn't realise it had been that long. 

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"I just don't know how much longer I can do this"

"Do what?"

"Pretend that I am okay, that I am handling everything that I actually want to be alive."

"Well you won't have to pretend after tomorrow right?"

"Yes I will, cause then I have to pretend that I am okay- put on a brave face- to pretend that I am over it- that I don't need therapy- that I want to still be alive."

At this point I am getting really annoyed with him and I don't know why, I just want to hit something or scream or hold my breath it's childish but I would give anything to be a child again. 

Ryan patiently links his fingers through mine and shifts his weight asking-

"Why?"

And I loose it-

"Why you're asking me WHY! Because I don't want to be here anymore! I don't want to have to breathe or sleep I just want darkness with no haunting memories! I want to die Ryan and you ask me why. Of all things to say why?! Okay Ryan I will answer your question- because I DON'T understand what Summer OR I did to deserve that. What could a little girl do to deserve that and have to live with these nightmares they rest of my life!? Do you remember Summer and I before? Cause I do and she was NOTHING like the Summer now. Every breath we take every heartbeat every fake smile that we have had to give- even to you and Seth is haunted. It's bad enough dealing with it and I don't want and I know Summer doesn't want to pile baggage on everyone around us!"

I scream at him as he stands up and faces where I am now standing. As he stands there I begin to punch, hit, slap and kick him. All I could see where those faces. He takes it and after a few minutes he grabs my arms and holds them by my side. He wraps his arms around me and tries to calm me. 

"Shhh shhh- it's okay Riss it's okay I am here."

I give in and wrap my arms around him and bury my head into his chest as hard as I can and begin to sob. He continues to whisper as he holds me. 

"Shhh shhh- it's okay Riss it's okay I am here."

--

"_Sorry to drag you away from the party-"_

"_Yeah, me neither"_

"_Why do you care?"_

"_No, no, no NO! N-O-! GET OFF leave her alone, no!"_

"_No don't do that--- LEAVE HER ALONE!"_

"_GET OFF ME, LEAVE HER ALONE!"_

"_No, no, no, please don't hurt her, please, please."_

I wake up to Seth shaking me and I punch him, at this stage I am sobbing uncontrollably as Seth holds me avoiding the arms flying everywhere.

"Summer, Summer- it's okay- it's me Seth. It's okay"

I turn to look at his face and stop fighting

"Nightmare?"

I nod as the sobs slowly get quieter and I shake uncontrollably.

"Well, it's okay now, you're safe here with me."

"It's not being awake I'm scared of- it's being asleep."

"Well, I'm awake now too, we don't have to sleep."

My mind goes to Marissa-

"I need to check on Marissa"

I say as I rush out of Seth's room with him trailing me down the hall, down the stairs through the lounge into the kitchen, through the French doors leading to the outside entertainment area I pause looking around at the darkness surrounding me. Seth slips his fingers through mine and we continue, up the stairs and stop as I open the doors to the pool house. I see Ryan and Marissa doing the same thing that Seth and I were doing only moments ago. Ryan and Marissa look up at Seth and I with his arms safe wrapped around me standing at the door. The look on her face is the same as that night years ago, the look on her face which has never left me and I wished that I would never see it again. But I have. I race to Marissa and climb into bed with them. Seth follows me hopping in too. I hug Marissa- the look on her face says everything- I know that we had the same dream.

As sure as winter goes and comes- so to do the nightmares. A predictable series of events that happen no matter how hard I wish for it to not.

**Hey, I hope that didn't make it to hard to follow. I was getting bored just writing a one sided experience when really it's two peoples story. But at this stage I don't think anymore chapters will be like this. PLEASE Read and Review let me know if you like both points of view, if you all do I might do it again- xxx Shar-Lyn**


	8. The Calm After the Storm

**I am SO SORRY! I've been really busy but I have pre-written several more chapters so I will be posting faster. **

**This chapter is back to normal so it's from Summer's view. So here it is-**

**The Calm After the Storm**

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I wake up and look around; slowly remembering what I am doing in the pool house. Seth is curled up around me, with his arms wrapped around my upper body. I am surprised I actually slept and didn't wake up scared.

I am enjoying just lying in bed. I feeling safe for the first time in a while. I let myself relax in Seth's arms. After a few minutes Marissa stirs. She slowly opens her eyes to see my smiling face.

"Hey, how long have you been awake?"

"About 5 minutes- I didn't wake you did I?"

"No, I actually slept."

"Me too."

We both settle into our boyfriends' arms contently.

"After last night-- I think we are doing the right thing-"

"I know me too."

Seth is slowly waking up; though I am not facing him I can tell he's just opened his eyes.

"Good morning princess"

He whispers kissing my head

"How did you sleep?"

He asked tentatively

"Really well actually, it's the most sleep I've had in a while."

"That's good"

-He says stretching.

"Good morning Seth."

"Morning Marissa- how did you sleep?"

"Peacefully."

"You have no idea how good it is to hear that."

He says, and I know that he means it.

Ryan is now awake too, obviously because of the talking.

Marissa rolls on to her back so Ryan is propped up beside her on his side.

"Good morning"

He whispers slowly pushing hairs off her face and tucking them behind her ear.

"Good morning to you too"

"So it is a good morning?"

"Yep"

As they talk I roll over facing Seth.

"Oh my goodness did I do that?"

I look at his black eye

"Yeah I'm afraid so"

I sit up and rub my hand along his cheek and lean in to kiss it better.

"It's okay we know--- it was a rough night"

I look over as Ryan says that. His face looks twice as bad a Seth's.

Ryan has a split lip, 2 black eyes and his cheek is purple; and I thought I had a rough night.

Marissa sits up kissing his face better all over. Seth says-

"Maybe we all better start in the pool house tonight- cause clearly you girls are dangerous apart."

We all smile and I know that it's a good idea. I feel safe with Ryan and Seth there.

The pool house door flies open and Kirsten walks in and stops.

"Oh sorry, I was just looking for you two. I was coming into ask Ryan if he had seen you- I just wanted to know if you wanted some coffee."

"Yeah that would be awesome, I know everybody would love some- what time is it?"

"10 am"

"Wow I didn't realise we had slept that much."

Sandy walks in and looks at Seth and Ryan

"What on earth happened to you two? You didn't sneak out to a party did you? Or maybe the I-Max Theatre cause apparently those places are dangerous now"

He says with eyebrows raised and a smile trying not to appear.

It's amazing how they still treat us like teenagers, I think that Sandy and Kirsten really missed having us around all the time- even with all the drama we attracted and Sandy definitely misses bailing all four of us out of the situations we always manage to wind up in.

"No, we had a bit of a rough night- but everyone is okay now."

Seth kisses my head and Ryan kisses Marissa's.

"Did you all sleep in here together?"

"Well you see we started out separately; but sort of migrated, you know like birds during winter, that reminds me- oy Ryan the I-Max Theatre at South Coast Plaza has a special on the Migration of the Bird, It should be fascinating."

"Okay, I think you all definitely need some coffee."

-Kirsten says as she walks out the pool house.

"Actually Seth, I think that's a good idea, Summer and I can shop and you and Ryan could see _The_ _Migration of The Bird."_

Ryan sits up and stretches.

"Oh, thanks for suggesting that, how am I suppose to get out of it now."

-He says laughing.

As he stands he grabs Marissa chucking her over his shoulder.

"We are having a shower, and then we'll be in to have bagels and coffee with you."

He says walking over to the bathroom and grabbing 2 towels on the way.

Marissa yells,

"Put me down Shrek!"

"Oh, so I'm a ogre, you are going to pay for that." he says laughing as the bathroom door closes.

Seth and I race out of the pool house and into the kitchen. I beat him to the coffee blocking his access so he picks me up and moves me out the way.

"No fair!"

Sandy walks into the kitchen

"Where are Ryan and Marissa?"

"Showering."

"Together?"

"Yep"

Kirsten walks in the kitchen overhearing the conversation

"Sandy didn't I tell you to talk to him about that years ago?"

She says as she drags him out the kitchen.

I hear Sandy in the hall-

"Honey, don't you think that the girls need to spend as much time being happy and enjoying life as they can? I think whatever makes them happy at the moment we should support."

"Yeah you're right." she says sighing.

I turn to see that Seth has heard them too. He hands me my coffee and a bagel but I don't really feel like eating.

He takes my hand and leads me out to the hallway and past Sandy and Kirsten

"Where are you guys going?"

"To take a shower."

He says leading me up the stairs

I stare at him-

"You heard them, you need to have fun and enjoy life and that means ME!"

**Hey ya'll, as always please read and review- xxx Shar-Lyn**


	9. Cause I Don't Deserve Him

**Hey, I know this is irrelevant but I just wanted to let you know that Seth and Ryan aren't nerds and Seth isn't a geek. Saying that they WERE NOT water polo playing party and girl obsessed future newpsie husbands. Seth still loves comics and Animé and Ryan still punches people (or used to) and loves Journey and he does and can dance. Oh and he is still afraid of heights LOL. They are like friends with everybody and if they wanted they could have and were asked to played water-polo in the team. (but that was in high school). If you haven't caught the drift Ryan and Marissa just finished their degrees at Berkeley and Summer finished her degree at Brown (she didn't get kicked out like the actual show) and Seth finished his degree and RISD (so yes, he didn't get into Brown) Ta.**

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**'Cause I don't deserve you**

Seth and I walk back into the kitchen after our shower. As we walk in Ryan and Marissa still aren't there. Sandy and Kirsten smile as they see us walk in and we continue to act like we didn't hear them before in the hall. Kirsten has laid out the table and made a beautiful brunch for us. Seth and I take our seats as Ryan and Marissa walk through the door both of them glowing, this is the Marissa I like to see.

"Mom this looks amazing"  
Ryan says as Kirsten smiles

"Well isn't someone a suck-up"  
Seth says putting on a hurt face.  
Kirsten jokes-  
"Now don't pout- we love your brother and you both equally"  
She says laughing

"The three letter word for funny- mom"  
-Ryan says.  
"Dude your totally taking my wind- I'M the funny one- you're the muscles"

Marissa and I just sit enjoying a normal brunch- not that anything Seth does is normal compared to a normal person- but normal considering it's Seth.

As we are all seated Julie and dad walk in.

"Good morning everybody"  
Julie announces as she and dad walk in smiling. She makes her way around the table

"Good morning honey"  
She says kissing my head, "Good morning Julie."

"Good morning baby, how did you girls sleep?"  
She says to Marissa kissing her head and tucking a stray behind her ear

"Good morning mom, yeah I had a good sleep"  
"That's good baby, you and Summer look a lot better this morning"  
We smile and then as Ryan and Seth turn there faces to smile at Julie she says- "Oh my god, what happened to you boys you didn't sneak out to a party did you?"  
She says inspecting each of their faces. Marissa and I smile at her comment and I realise that they really miss us being around.  
"No, we had a bit of a rough night, but were okay now"  
Ryan says smile at Marissa and I.

In that instant I wonder what I did to deserve Seth- under normal circumstances he would play up his injuries.

I don't deserve him.

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**Sorry it was a short chapter I wanted to save the drama for the next chapter. I know I suck LOL! PLEASE read and review as always- I really appreciate your feed-back xxx Shar-Lyn. PS. my pen name is now _i-hate-sports-metaphors_ (for an explanation please see my homepage.)**


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